The most effective action that I’ve seen parents take for their gifted kids is for the parents to get to know themselves deeply and to understand their own particular insecurities, patterns, beliefs, and behaviors - to understand how their experiences with their own parents shaped their self- confidence or their own self- esteem. In this way, they don’t unconsciously repeat the dysfunctional patterns that may have been handed down to them. They are less often triggered by their child’s big emotions. They are better able to provide healthy limits and boundaries when their gifted child tests those limits. They’re less prone to get into power struggles with kids who can argue like lawyers. They’re better able to work with the schools. They will have less anxiety or depression and more energy and compassion. They take time to care for their own emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs and model self-care for their kids.
Understad Yourself As A Gifted Adult
"The self-knowledge of the parent is key to the growth of the child."
Paula Prober, MS, MED
Your Rainforest Mind
Eugene, Oregon
https://rainforestmind.com/
Email: paula@rainforestmind.com
Social Media: facebook.com/paula.prober; twitter.com/paulaprober
Paula Prober, MS, MEd, is a licensed psychotherapist and consultant in Oregon, USA. Over the 30+ years she has worked with the gifted. Prober has been a classroom teacher, adjunct instructor, and presenter at universities, conferences and webinars. She consults internationally with gifted adults and with parents of gifted children. Her writing on giftedness has appeared in Advanced Development Journal, the Psychotherapy Networker, the Eugene Register Guard, Thrive Global, and Rebelle Society. Her book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth was released by GHF Press in June 2016.
Of course, because I’m a psychotherapist, I’ve found therapy to be the best way to do this, particularly if there was trauma in the parents’ background. It’s not a short term fix but it creates deeply powerful stability and a solid loving foundation for the children and generations to come. There are other ways to get there, depending on each person’s particular situation and often it helps to approach this from multiple directions: support groups, journaling, arts, martial arts, soul collage, bodywork such as massage/acupressure/ acupuncture , meditation or mindfulness practices, vision quests, hiking in nature, coaching, healthy eating... a combination of these things can make a big difference.
The self-knowledge of the parent is key to the growth of the child. It sounds obvious to me but I see many parents who don’t realize this. So that would be the one thing I would suggest to parents. Both parents and children can then thrive into the future.
Click the link to Purchase Paula’s Popular New Book, Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth.